I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
