He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
