I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!