Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
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She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
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Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.