just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
