i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize