Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
