So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
