You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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