There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
