In America we eat man semen.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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