the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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