Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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