I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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