you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
