You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
