I puked a lego.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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