it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
