I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
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Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize