He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Drake has all the answers
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
