this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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