the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize