The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Couch. On fire.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
