bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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