I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Buhtt sex?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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