come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
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He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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