If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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