My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
