Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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