There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
