Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
