haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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