tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Operation Purity has been aborted
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
