yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
