there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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