I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
