we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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