And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
