Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Soap is not a condiment
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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