trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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