Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
