Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
