He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize