Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
