too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
