My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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