I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
