my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
