Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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