my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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