i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
