Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Boobs are out for the taking
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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