Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize