forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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