Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
