i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
