i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
