Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
